A Dose of Perspective

I always worry a little when my blog postings aren't simply a record of an event or a quick story. I guess I fear that when I write the more serious things in my head it will either sound trivial, cheesy or something. However, this past week gave me such a reality check that I wanted to share a few of my reflections (and they say writing is good therapy).

In the Book of Mormon the cycle of pride is outlined multiple times. A rundown for those who haven't heard of it, the pride cycle goes something like this: a people (or person) is righteous, due to their righteousness they are blessed, owing to their blessings they becomes prideful, being prideful drives them away from righteousness, trials fall upon the wicked, overcoming the trials leads them back to righteousness. They key is to find a way to be humble without the trials being put in your path. If you can get on your knees and be penitent without trials then the chances go up that you won't face the trials aimed at humbling you. Of course, that isn't the reason for all trials, but it can be a reason for trials.

I think sometimes I fall victim to not only the pride cycle, but also the perspective cycle. I have all these blessings in my life. Seriously, I have SO much to be grateful for. However, when I begin to pursue or be consumed with those blessings (usually things) that I don't have is when something happens to alter one of my life's greatest blessings.

Are you with me so far? If you are baffled, its probably me and not you.

So to the heart of my point. Over the last little while it seems my focus has been on things I wish I had (like a killer vacation, a wii, the funds to finish my basement, etc) and am bugged by things less important (why do I still have acne at 31, why is it so hard to find time to exercise, why does my lawn have so many dry spots). To be fair, I'm generally a pretty optimistic and grateful guy (I think) but like a lot of us, I struggle at times.

Well, this past week I got a pretty sound Wack upside the head to remind me what really matters. Starting last Thursday little Marcus had flu like symptoms. Friday the 4th he did pretty well, but again Saturday he couldn't keep anything down and had a pretty serious case of the dry heaves. Sunday came and his condition continued to worsen. He was so lethargic that all he wanted to do was sleep or lay on your lap. After many calls back and forth to different clinical nurses and doctors we decided that we would let him sleep Sunday and take him in on Monday.

Monday came and we were sent to American Fork hospital where Marcus was hooked up to an IV and they ran tests on his urine and blood. When the results came back my world came to a stop. The doctor reported that Marcus' Pancreas levels were about 4 times the normal number and that this was VERY unusual in a child of his age. We were rushed down for a CT scan and those results were favorable for the pancreas but showed a good deal of abnormality in the Liver. The doctors that we saw were thorough and helpful, but didn't relieve our fears much.

Added to the problem was that owing to either nerves or the flu virus, Jamie began showing all the symptoms of the flu. Monday night I stayed with Marcus at the hospital and realized that no matter what happened, the only things that really mattered to me weren't things at all. I realized that my perspective was all wrong in dwelling on envy or my shortcomings and that I should be so grateful for my healthy and wonderful boys, my amazing wife, and the great network of friends and family that I enjoy.

The next morning poor Marcus had to get poked about 3 times in order to draw enough blood to run some (but not all) the tests the doctor's wanted. The poor little guy will likely have a fear of nurses until he is well past adolescence.

Of course, by this time I was feeling the flu symptoms as well. All day Tuesday both Jamie and I were struggling. But, Marcus was the worst off. Poor little guy. He did finally start feeling better once Tyler came to visit and his fluids came back. In fact, for a while we were optimistic that we might get to go home that day...alas, that was not the case. Despite his color coming back and his smiling and enjoying playing catch on his bed, the doctor was still quite worried about Marcus' liver test results. As such, we had to stay the night again and more blood had to be drawn this morning.

I spent Tuesday night tossing and turning hoping my fever would break. It did finally, and when I went back to the hospital this morning the doctor came in and was pretty encouraging. Marcus' levels had dropped down much closer to normal. Combined with his having not thrown up since Sunday night we were allowed to leave.

We came home and Marcus' face shined! He was running all around and so excited to be home. Of course, to keep us from being too comfortable, he did throw up his lunch. AHH! I really hope this passes soon. The good news is that I am pretty sure that the worst is behind us.

Perhaps the best thing to come from this...I think I'm back on the right side of the perspective cycle. I can honestly think of nothing that I want more right now than for my little boy to be healthy and for life to get back to normal.